The 36 Sermons of PaintGoblin
Inspired by “The 36 Lessons of Vivec”
This was prepared by passing the original article through ChatGPT so … make of that what you will.
Sermon One: The Sacred Brush
Beloved disciples, heed these words: a paintbrush is not a mere pen. Do not attempt to wield it as such, for its purpose is far more profound. When you take up the sacred brush, draw it across the canvas of your creation, honoring its tip as a vessel of artistic expression.
Sermon Two: Embrace the Backside
Behold, the allure of dropper bottles may tempt you, but consider this: have you truly embraced the wisdom of using the backside of your paintbrush to distribute the paint onto your palette? Let not the extravagance of modern tools obscure the simplicity of this method. Master this, and you shall find ease in dealing out the colors of your imagination.
Sermon Three: The Ring of Purity
In the pursuit of artistic purity, attend to the maintenance of your tools. Trim the rings that bind your paint pots, freeing them from the clutches of “paint smeg.” Transform the flip-up lids into vessels of liberation, allowing the flow of creativity to flourish unhindered.
Sermon Four: Water of Life
As water nourishes the earth, so too does it sustain the artistry of painting. Understand that the thinning of paint is not merely a technicality but a sacred ritual. Let go of the quest for precise formulas and instead, imbue your paints with the essence of your vision. Just as water adapts to the vessel it fills, let your paints adapt to the needs of your creation.
Sermon Five: Tape of Stability
In the quest for stability, tape becomes a beacon of hope. Use it to secure magnets and hold them flush with the surface of your masterpiece. Embrace its steadfast grip as it guides you through the delicate dance of assembly. And when the time comes for its release, rejoice in the ease with which it yields to your command.
Sermon Six: The Chisel’s Grace
Behold the chisel, a symbol of precision and strength. Let its form inspire you as you wield your brush with purpose. Embrace its versatility, for within its broad strokes lies the power to shape your creation with finesse. And remember, even the humblest of brushes can be transformed into a tool of greatness.
Sermon Seven: The Depths of Metal
In the depths of metal, discover the shimmering essence of true brilliance. Embrace the mysteries of Metal Colour, allowing its luminous hues to grace your masterpiece. And when faced with the challenge of its temperament, seek refuge in the humble fidget toy, for within its embrace, Metal Colour finds its true purpose.
